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I ignored it of course but was ignored. He told me he only hosts weddings that attract the media and ours is likely to be in magazines because I’ll look fabulous in white and short.’ ‘White and short?’ ‘Yes Duncan says with legs like mine I’ll look fabulous in a short dress and everyone will only need to see me to know I’m entitled to wear white without insulting tradition.’ ‘But how does he know you have great legs, he’s only seen them once, hasn’t he?’ ‘Yes but some men only need to look at. Normally your shit doesn't smell too bad, but this shit is BAD. Usually there's somebody standing outside to use the bathroom. This kind of shit also usually happens at someone else's house.The Frightened TurtleThe kind of shit that just pokes its head out then quickly goes back inThe Bungee ShitThe kind of shit that just hangs off your ass before it falls into the water.The Ring of Fire ShitThe kind of shit where you eat really spicy food and your asshole feels like the inside of a cigarette. On day, as they sat down to breakfast, Doris, asked if he could help her go to the toilet as she was desperate to pee.‘I’m so sorry Jason, but I couldn’t do it earlier with Jill, I know it is not policy, but I don’t want to pee myself. Would you be a dear and help me, please?’‘She looked in despair so I agreed - in the toilet, I lifted up her dress and was surprised to see she had no knickers on’. ‘Did you forget to put on knickers, Doris?’‘Now, don’t be nosey, Jason, just help me down’Sitting. "What do you... you creatures call yourselves? What do you do in our realm?" We are called 'humans', your honor." The Speaker, startled by Phil's perfect accent, leaned forward to peer more closely at him. "We came on a mission of great importance to all life on this world. Your people have been killed, mutilated. If the evil ones who did this are not stopped, they will kill and steal and destroy until nothing is left of the Shadow-People, not even a memory." And the People of the Plains? What.
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